


chances missed, chances taken

by winterbitch (WinterLadyy)



Series: chances [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Acceptance, Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, Fix-It, Healthy Relationships, Heartbreak, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Parent Bucky Barnes, Parent Tony Stark, Regret, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-23 19:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18708178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterLadyy/pseuds/winterbitch
Summary: Steve, with Peggy's help, realizes that he's in fact, in love with his best friend who he left back in the present. He decides to go back to him. Only, something went wrong and 3 weeks for him had been 3 years in his present and there's an unhappy surprise waiting for him.Apparently, Bucky is capable of finding new friends himself, and even finding a family... A happiness of his own.





	1. Steve

**Author's Note:**

> finally decided to post sth for my fave ship and its this thing, because im a tad bitter about steve and theres only so much crying bucky art i can take before doing something  
> this is also my first work for winteriron so plz be gentle??? im sensitive

It's not that he doesn't miss Bucky. It’s just that Steve often doesn’t understand his own feelings until someone else points them out, and has a tendency to get lost in the maze of his mind, stuck in one stupid idea or another. 

In other words, sometimes his interest turns into obsession and all logical thinking gets thrown out of the window, and that’s exactly why Steve finds himself back in the past, watching Peggy do SHIELD paperwork.

He loves her, or at least he thought he loved her, but now, after spending time together, he realizes that it was the  _ idea  _ of her that he loved - a strong, beautiful person who took none of his shit and looked out for him, sometimes in a rough way. Someone not afraid to call him out on his bullshit when necessary and then kick his ass to knock him down a few pegs.

It took him a long talk with Peggy herself to realize that there was someone else with those exact traits in his life, someone he left in his mad pursuit of the “love of his life.”

Bucky.

James Buchanan Barnes, his best friend, someone he had fought the entire world for, the sore centre of his whole mind for years until he found him and then some.

Bucky who he had left alone in a world that’s completely different from the one they grew up in, with one friend, if he could ever call Sam that, and no other support. Bucky, who he had only found only to lose again, this time to his own stupidity.

But no more. No, now Steve is ready to return to his own time, 5 seconds after leaving, and finally admit to himself and to Bucky what he had always known - that he’s in love with his best friend and wants to spend the rest of their life together, as it should be.

He’s leaving tomorrow, this being the last night he spends with Peggy, the ideal he had spent so much time chasing, the one he has to let go, just like she had done for him. They got their goodbye, the sweet ending that doesn’t always have to be happy. It’s time for him to make amends and get his own happy ending, with the man he loves.

That’s why he’s almost vibrating with excitement when the sun comes up and they both stand in the backyard, smiling at each other.

“Don’t waste your second chance, Steve,” Peggy says kindly, smiling up at him. She’s not sad, just content. “Even though you can be a bit dumb, I think you can manage not to ruin this.”

Steve just nods helplessly, both elated and nervous. He doesn’t want to leave her here, but he has to say goodbye. Their time has passed. “I know. Thank you, for our last dance.”

“Thank you for keeping your promise,” she replies and then just waves at him, neither willing to say goodbye.

Steve leaves then, knowing she will be okay, no matter what.

When he arrives, there’s no one waiting for him. No time machine, no Bruce or Sam or Bucky or  _ anyone.  _ The sun is slowly setting and it’s warmer than when he had left and Steve suddenly feels like something is very very wrong.

He looks around, noticing he’s still in Tony’s backyard, though it looks vastly different from how it looked when he left.

There’s a set of swings and an old car partly taken apart, a few toys strewn around, a new shed at the back, probably highly advanced, a motorcycle standing in the driveway. Steve swallows and takes a few hesitant steps forward, to peer from behind the shack, trying to gather when exactly he landed and what went wrong.

Steve’s so focused on finding Tony, or any other familiar face, that he startles when he hears a loud, “Papa, papa look what I found!” of a young girl, Morgan, Tony’s daughter.

He catches a glimpse of her, older than the last time he saw her but maybe by 3 years at best, still bright-eyed and innocent. She’s holding something delicate in her hand and running back to the house, dirty but smiling, clearly looking at someone.

Said someone takes a few steps forward and then Steve’s breathing stops because this is Bucy. Bucky, in a black henley and old jeans, hair in a bun, the beard gone and replaced with a stubble, smiling like Steve hasn't seen him smile in...ever. This smile, soft and adoring and so full of  _ love  _ has never graced Bucky’s face before, and Steve doesn’t know how to react.

The girl finally reaches Bucky, and his friend scoops her up without hesitation, settling her on his hip in a practised, smooth move.

“What do you have, baby girl?” he asks her gently, interested and attentive and so achingly soft that something in Steve’s heart jumps.

“One of the flowers you told me about, the one that people used to use for poisoning and also for cooking? I think its this one,” Morgan says with a happy smile, showing said plant.

Bucky nods and kisses the top of her head, pride almost emanating from him. “That’s the one, my little witch. That’s an amazing find, you definitely deserve a reward… Cake pops?”

“Can I have two, papa?” she asks innocently, probably giving his friend the same eyes that Tony used to give Steve. And just like Steve, Bucky softens and kisses her forehead.

“We’ll see крошка, we have to ask dad first,” his friend chuckles, settling the girl back down, but giver her his metal hand to hold.

For a second, Steve isn’t sure what to do. His friend, his best friend, is smiling down at Tony's daughter as if she’s his, and she’s calling him ‘papa’ and Bucky looks so happy and carefree and full of  _ life  _ and suddenly, Steve isn’t sure if it was even the right universe. 

Granted, Morgan looks a bit older than she looked when he left, but maybe it’s just...something wrong with his time device. Maybe it threw him into the wrong universe, where something was clearly different from his own.

Because what had to happen to change things so dramatically, leading to Bucky acting like Tony’s daughter is his own, to Bucky seemingly living there, with Tony, like nothing happened, like Steve didn’t even exist…

“What did our little one find?” comes another voice and Steve snaps back into attention, because this is Tony Stark, looking healthier than ever, almost glowing with happiness, even with some scars on his face and a scarred hand that’s noticeably shaky as it wraps around Morgan’s shoulders.

Steve almost makes himself known then, but Bucky leans down to causally kiss Tony on the cheek and Steve's world crashes down. He can't stop the gasp from tearing from his throat and that’s enough for Bucky to notice him.

Wide, ice-blue eyes meet his and all Steve can do is stare at his best friend as he stiffens, before saying something to Morgan and then seeing her go inside the house, while Bucky and Tony walk towards him. He’s frozen to the ground, too shocked to even breathe right so when they finally reach him, Steve's close to hyperventilating.

“Stevie?” Bucky whispers, staring at him with wide eyes, and when Steve looks down, he can see that he’s squeezing Tony’s hand in his. It makes his heart hurt even more. “Where the hell did you come from?”

That snaps him a bit out and he stares right back, confused. “From the time machine…” he says slowly. “I just got...sidetracked.”

“I know,” Bucky snaps bitterly, but there’s no anger in his voice, only a strange resignation. “You’ve been gone for more than 3 years. What are you doing back? I thought you’ll stay with Peggy and live a life.”

At that, Steve looks down and his shoulders sag. “I wanted to,” he admits, now speaking only to Bucky, as Tony isn’t saying anything. “But she made me realize a few things and I came back. I came back to you.”

Steve raises his head when he says that, looking at Bucky hopefully, but his friend doesn’t look moved or even emotional. No, his face is blank but his eyes are blazing and then Tony raises a hand and squeezes Bucky’s shoulder and his friend  _ leans into the touch,  _ eyes softening a bit.

Bucky sighs deeply and glances back at him. “Look, Steve, when you left I was…” He steels himself visibly, before carrying on. “I was a mess. I felt like I wasn’t enough for you, broken and scarred, especially when you had your pretty, fierce Peggy. I was in a bad place, for a while. You just left me there, me and Sam both, to just...fuckin’ live. Not sayin’ a word, you just left and I had to, y’know, live on. So I did. I was always good at survivin’.”

“I-I didn't know it would be so long,” Steve finally whispers, making Tony actually scoff. He’s just about to snap at the man, but Bucky speaks up before he can.

“Yeah, you just wanted to return as an old man and shit!” he almost raises his voice, starting Steve straight in the eyes, before deflating. “Look, Steve, you’ve been gone for over 3 years. I moved on, found friends, I have a family now.”

While saying that, Bucky looks at Tony and his eyes immediately soften, a different type of love flooding them, sweet but real, concrete. Grounded. As for himself, Tony turns to Bucky, leaning against the taller man’s body easily, their moves smooth and comfortable and practised. 

“I’m happy,” Bucky says, this time soft and quiet and so so honest that it breaks Steve's heart.

“But with Tony?” He can’t help himself, a tad of bitterness and disapproval bleeding into his voice and Bucky does not appreciate that.

“What about Tony,” he growls, voice reminding Steve of the Winter Soldier, deadly and cold and yet angry somehow, more emotional than HYDRA’s assassin.

“Just...Buck, he’s not good for you,” Steve mutters weakly, trying not to wince at the look of hurt that flashes across Tony’s face. He really trusts the man, isn’t even angry at him, just...the engineer can't be good for his best friend.

“And how can you know that? You left, Steve, you have no goddamn right to say  _ anythin’  _ about my relationship with Tony, and especially not in that tone. He makes me happy, Steve, happier than I ever thought I deserved. Isn’t that enough for you?”

Steve wants to say that it is, that he just wants Bucky to be happy, that he wishes them all the best but the words get stuck in his throat. Because it’s not enough. He wants to be the one to give Bucky that happiness, to be the one receiving all those soft, loving looks, to lean against his body and give him the world. It should be him, not Tony Stark.

“I-I just...don’t understand. You two hated each other,” he says weakly, throwing his hands up in an attempt to understand the situation somehow. This is not how things were when he left and now he feels unsettled. It’s just plain wrong.

“No, Steve, I never really hated James,” Tony speaks up for the first time, voice both gentle and kind somehow, still not moving from his spot against Bucky’s side. “It was you I was angry at, never at James, and it didn’t take me long to actually get over what happened. There’s a difference between a weapon and the man pulling the trigger, and I see it clearly.”

_ ‘Why did you almost kill Bucky, then?’  _ Steve wants to ask, but it’s all behind them and it’s not wise to bring it all up, so many years later, with Bucky looking so angry and so close to actually snapping. 

“We were both a bit lost, after Thanos, and we found something together. We found a chance, and we took it, Steve,” Tony says quietly. “You can’t blame us for making the best out of our chance, while you wasted yours.”

Steve’s head snaps up and his wide eyes meet Tony’s and then he knows that Tony knows. The billionaire knows that Steve’s in love with Bucky and there’s understanding in his eyes, but also pity. Because they both know that Bucky doesn’t love him like that. Not even if he used to love Steve, it’s all long gone, love for Tony blazing it its place like North Star.

And Steve wants to continue being angry and wants to feel betrayed, but he just  _ can’t.  _ He’s the one who left, who probably destroyed all romantic feelings Bucky may have ever had for him, and as much as he wants to, it’s not his place to tell his friend who he can or can’t love. Especially since there's a young girl calling him 'papa' and smiling at him like he's her whole world, not even flinching at the sight of his metal arm; since it's not only Tony but  _a family_ that Bucky always so desperately wanted.

All that he has left is the crushing regret and the realization that he could have had it all - a best friend and lover, a forever home,  _ a future,  _ but instead, he chose the past and missed his chance. 

“Yeah, I know,” he mutters then, looking at two of his friends, both of whom he disappointed and left behind. It's only fair that now he’s the one to be left behind while they run in pursuit of their happiness. “For all it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

_ For leaving you behind, theAlpsSyberiathepresent, for choosing someone else over you, BuckyPeggy, for being selfish. _

They both nod and then Bucky lays his metal hand on his shoulder and squeezes. “I know, punk,” he mutters with a small, hesitant smile. “Wanna stay for dinner?”

And Steve nods because his heart is hurting and his whole chest feels empty but he owes it to them, a chance to maybe...build something new. Not as strong or secure as what they used to have, but a tentative friendship, a chance to atone for his mistakes. A way to keep Bucky in his life.

“Lead the way,” he says with a bright, if a bit fake smile, and then keeps smiling when they’re all sitting on the porch and he sees Bucky pull Tony into a soft kiss, their lips meeting in a familiar dance, framed by the setting sun. Morgan is rolling her eyes but smiling at them and they look so domestic and at ease... Like a fairytale.

It’s beautiful and Steve can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt but the loving smile that’s on Bucky’s face almost makes it worth it. Almost.


	2. James

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shameless fluff and being domestic because i said so

James watches Steve leave with Rhodey, who was so kind as to drive the man back to the Compound, where the rest of New Avengers resided. He sighs deeply and just leans against the doorframe for a second, breathing deeply, letting it all out.

He’s not in love with Steve, not anymore, but it was a shock to see him again, after 3 years, especially in their home, where he feels the safest. He’s not in love with Steve, but Steve sure as hell is in love with him, yet it doesn't change anything. His friend missed his chance and now James wouldn’t exchange what he has for anything.

He glances back inside the house, where Morgan is potting the plant she found earlier and Tony's finishing drying the dishes, his whole world in one building. It's their home, their safe place, with people he loves more than anything in the entire world. More than he's ever loved Steve. Or anyone, really.

“You okay, James?” comes Tony's quiet voice and James easily shifts, allowing his partner to lean against him.

James buries his face in Tony’s fluffy hair for a second and then smiles. “Yeah, doll, I’m good,” he promises. “Bit of a shock, but it’s fine.”

He feels Tony smile against his shoulder and just has to tip his head back and kiss the genius softly, both of them closing their eyes, getting lost in the moment. Just the two of them, pressed together, battered and scarred but  _ alive.  _

“I promise,” he mumbles against Tony's mouth. “Nothin’ to worry about.”

“You used to love him,” Tony counters, absolutely no anger or malice in his tone. James ’s heart swells a bit with love for this amazing, selfless man in his arms. 

“I still love him, darlin’,” James corrects him gently. “I’m just not in love with ‘im. I have all I could ever want, right here.”

It’s simple, really. Not even Steve’s return is enough to make him change his mind, even for a millisecond. He has the love of his life in his arms, their daughter playing in the other room and he’s free to do anything he wants.

“I never doubted that,” Tony assures. “Though seeing him in all his golden Dorito glory…”

They dissolve into giggles and James steals a few kisses, sweet and messy and theirs. He’s happy here, happiest he’s ever been in his over 100 years on Earth, and there are many more happy years to come.

“That was something, for sure,” he agrees with a smirk, leaning Tony inside the house, onto the couch. “It’s fortunate that I prefer small bruteness…”

“I’m not small!” comes the expected indignant response, Tony almost jumping in place. There's a small smirk dancing on his lips, however, so James just smiles. “I’m compact sized.”

“Oh, I love your size, doll,” James purrs playfully, knowing full well that harmless teasing is all they can do here. “Fits perfectly in my arms.”

As if to demonstrate, he pulls his lover closer, tucking him into his body, both of them relaxing instantly. The fireplace isn’t on yet, but it still feels cosy, the couch soft and familiar, a faint sound of Morgan’s muttering reaching them both. 

“Really, James,” Tony starts, in his serious tone. “Do you want to talk to Steve more? Maybe call him or something?”

James doesn't even have to think before answering. “Not really,” he shrugs carefully. “Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but maybe...we need to take it slow. We’re both different, after all.”

Many things happened in those 3 years, and James ’s not sure Steve is ready to know it all, to accept how different things are now.

“He’s in love with me, y’know. We need distance.”

“You noticed?” Tony asks, resigned and James just has to chuckle. 

“Babe, I’ve been trained to read people and it’s  _ Steve.  _ I used to know him better than he knew himself,” he snorts. Steve’s always been a dumbass and apparently, nothing changed. He just hopes that they can go somewhere from there, acknowledging the fact that James is in love with Tony now. That they have a daughter.

“How do you feel about it?”

James shrugs with a sigh. “Pretty neutral, I guess?” It's more of a question than an answer, but it's all he can give Tony now. “I have no romantic feelings towards Steve and I only hope it won't be awkward. For his sake more than mine, because as much as I disliked it, I know I can live without him. I have other friends, who may not have known Bucky Barnes, but they know James more than Steve ever will probably. I don't…need him.”

And that's the truth. Losing Steve has been painful, but in retrospect, necessary. James had the time and space to figure himself out without his best friend, without that damned reminder of his past self. It wasn't easy, but he's grateful for that time, for that an opportunity. 

Now, he's happy. James is a free, happy man, in control of his own life. 

He trains Avengers at Compound once a week, gives interviews about living with a prosthetics, does translations in his free time and is in the process of writing a book about living with only one flesh hand, in hopes of raising awareness. He helps the Avengers with fighting sometimes, but just because he  _ wants  _ to, not because he feels like he has to. James wants to help others and he's doing everything he can to do so.

For the first time in probably forever, he's doing things just because he wants to, not because of sense of duty. 

That's why he's also taking several online college classes. James loves knowledge and growing up as poor as he was didn't allow him to go to college, making money was more important. Now, in the 21st century, with everything settled, he can learn and maybe even go to college later, if he feels like it. 

“We both don't need Captain Amurica,” Tony chuckles, smiling up at him. There's no anger or disappointment in his eyes, only understanding. James is so lucky. 

“But you still need to talk to him,” he finally reminds his boyfriend, who frowns and sighs. “If we want to move forward, we all have to have a clean plate, and even your therapist told you how good talking to Steve would be to you. Maybe not now, not even next month, but I'm the future.”

Tony sighs, long-sufferingly, but nods finally. “Fine, fine, Mr Bossy,” he grumbles with a small smile. 

James just winks at him and kisses his temple, closing his eyes for a second. Sometimes, he still can't believe this is his life - a home in the forest, a loving partner and the most amazing little girl calling him ‘papa’. His life is good. Amazing. Everything he had always wanted. 

“We can get through this, Antoshka,” James mutters finally. “We got through all of our issues, we talked and cried and fought… We got there, all on our own. We can handle one patriotic dumbass.”

“I know,” Tony replies in a soft, loving voice, looking up at James with those pretty, brown eyes. He smiles at dips down to press a small kiss to his mouth. “Can you believe it, though? Steve suddenly returning, 3 years after disappearing into the past, aware that he’s in love with you…”

James snorts unattractively and shrugs again, smiling down at his lover. “Gotta say, after those 3 years nothing surprises me anymore.”

Tony chokes on a snort at that, dissolving into giggles at his sides. “Oh, so it’s the last 3 years that made you so immune, not the super serum or HYDRA?”

It says a lot about how far they’ve come that James doesn’t tense or even react in any way aside from a fond smile. 

“Well babe, our daughter tops all of that easily.”

“Oh, so it’s just Morgan? What am I? A stray opossum?!” Tony raises his voice playfully, nudging James’s ribs as he laughs. 

“If the shoe fits…”

That’s enough to send them into spiralling laughter, Morgan looking at them only to roll her eyes fondly. She’s so much like Tony…

Finally, they calm down and just lay down together, James gathering Tony into his arms soundly. He starts petting his lover’s hair with his metal hand, how completely comfortable with it. It’s amazing, how far they’ve come.

“Do you think they’ll fill him in on what happened?” Tony asks suddenly, not raising his head from James’s chest.

“I hope so,” he grumbles in response. “I ain’t gonna be the one to tell that story, that’s for damn sure.”

Yes, Steve used to be his best friend, but now he’s not his responsibility anymore. They’re friends, but not what they used to be, and James is strangely okay with it. He’s moved on, and it feels strangely good. 

“We have Avengers to take care of that,” Tony lazily notices. “Or even Fury, to be honest. We can just live on and maybe wait for him to come to us? We can send an invitation!”

James laughs at that, shaking his head fondly. “Sure we can, doll,” he agrees nonetheless. “Maybe later, though, give him some time to cool off?”

They both know Steve. He can be impulsive, sometimes makes bad decisions because of bad timing and later he’s too proud to admit to making a mistake so he keeps screwing things up. Neither wants a repeat of that, and they have time. All the time in the world.

Besides, the dinner was one of the most awkward things James has ever live through and he does not want a repeat of that. Steve was trying but the man couldn’t lie for shit and both James and Tony knew the Captain too well to fall for that. It all made the dinner terribly awkward, stilled and full of tension and James thinks that a bit of distance would do all of them some good.

“We can both talk to our therapist, discuss everything, process the fact that he’s back in our life… We deserve that.”

Tony only nods and sags against him some more. It took them a long time before they both started to put themselves first. Before they recognized that they didn’t owe anyone anything, and they had the right to refuse or postpone something if they felt uncomfortable. It’s hard-won progress and James won’t let Steve, or their shared past, ruin it.

“Yeah, we do,” Tony agrees soundly. “So, let's just call the Compound tomorrow, maybe talk to Carol, set some boundaries and tell Cap that he’s welcome here once he’s ready?”

“Agreed,” James mutters, before looking at the clock. It’s not very late but they both like to keep a strict bedtime for Morgan so that her bio clock doesn’t get thrown off.

“Alright, little witch, bath time!” he calls into the house and they both smile at the responding groan.

James gets up carefully and catches their girl when she furls herself at him, throwing her over his shoulder, accompanied by two sets of giggles. “Come on, you menace, you’re dirty from all the hunting.”

Morgan giggles and finally falls limp against him. “Can I have bubbles, papa?” she asks politely, undoubtedly Pepper’s influence on her. James is so proud.

“Sure you can. Here’s the plan - I make the bath and you get your pyjamas,” James states with a blank face, before settling Morgan down and watching fondly as she salutes and runs into her room. His girl is so precious.

The ritual of making a bath is familiar and easy and he can hear Tony down in the kitchen, probably making them hot chocolate to sip after Morgan is asleep. His daughter comes back just as James is finished, so he gives her a smile and leaves her there, walking into her room to prepare the bed and declutter things a bit. She’s just as chaotic as Tony, but over the years, she got some of James’s military precision, to Tony’s unending horror.

He’s just finishing with the room when Tony and Morgan enter together, their daughter now a bit sleepy and leaning against her dad. James smiles at them and helps his partner to lay her down, both of them sitting on the bed to tell her goodnight.

“You want a story, крошка?” James asks quietly, not even surprised when she gives a sleepy nod. “What story then?”

“Your first date,” she mutters, just as she always does and Tony just leans against him, James’s arm wrapping around his waist securely.

“Of course, little witch,” Tony mutters and takes a deep breath.


	3. Tony

_ Even now, almost 2 years later, they can’t agree on the exact time of their first date. That’s purely because they’re both oblivious dumbasses and sometimes they need their daughter to actually tell them that they’re dating. Oh well, at least Tony knows that she’s a genius, just like him. _

_ The story that Morgan wants to hear, however, is of that one day in late July. _

_ They’ve been living together for more than a year at that point, James unwilling to get back to Wakanda after everything that happened and Tony unwilling to live in this big house with just his daughter. Pepper, bless her soul, once again acted like the adult one in their relationship and gently noticed that while yes, they loved each other, they weren’t in love anymore. Seeing her leave didn’t even hurt that much, it felt more like something slotting into place, a new path opening in front of Tony and Morgan was as happy as always, even though her Mom was moving away. He remembers that she told him that she can always call and visit and that Mom will always be close because she’s in her heart. _

_ His daughter is amazing. _

_ He’s not even sure how James had moved in, how did they end up sitting on the small pier on the lake, with Morgan playing in the shallow water, both of them covered in mud and water, smiling like loons. _

_ Tony remembers that his arm still hurt like a bitch but that at that moment, it didn't matter, because the sun has set and it was warm enough for them to stay outside, and he got to witness the first time James saw fireflies. _

_ His heart still jumps when he thinks of the look of pure wonder and adoration etched on James’s face and the sudden desire to just lean up and kiss the man, mud and water and all. Then, his heart starts galloping when the memories keep playing and James turns to face him, framed by the shining bugs, reflected in his grey eyes, smiling tenderly. _

_ Tony is sure that he’ll remember the first touch of James’s lips against his forever. He’ll always remember making a small needy sound and the falling against the other man, how James gathered him close and kissed him like he was the most precious thing in the entire world. He’ll remember Morgan’s laughter and cheering and he’ll remember the tender smile on James’s face that Tony now knows means he’s incredibly in love. _

_ It’s funny how their first date is just a day spent at the lake with a small picnic and that amazing peach cream cake, eating under the trees and then playing in the water, both of them sending shy glances when they thought the other’s not looking. _

_ In spite of it all, Tony can see why it’s Morgan’s favourite bedtime story - it’s like a fairytale, only made real with scars on their bodies and the pain in Tony’s shoulder and the taste of peaches in their first kiss, fireflies dancing around them. _

 

 

He smiles against James’s shoulders when their little witch falls asleep, her favourite teddy bear pressed against her chest. His partner is soundless as he turns off the light and leads him out, closing the door gently behind them.

“Still got it,” Tony whispers with a cheeky smile, leading them downstairs, to get the hot chocolate with marshmallows that’s waiting for them in the kitchen.

“It’s a beautiful story,” James agrees when they finally sit down together on the porch, Tony almost sprawled across his lap, cradled safely in his arms. “One of my best memories.”

“Hmmm,” he agrees lazily. “And we have our whole lives to make even more.”

Before Thanos, before everything, Tony wouldn’t think like that and it only shows the progress he’s made. Yes, he almost died after wielding the gauntlet and yes, the recovery was a bitch, but brushing with Death made him appreciate life more, and the recovery pished him and James together, so all in all, he’s golden.

No one said that the road to happiness is easy.

Now though, Tony feels good. He’s not perfect, but his coping mechanisms are healthy and he and James communicate clearly. They never lie to each other and they set their boundaries every few weeks, to make sure they can always find the best way to help each other through a bad day.

Tony is almost impossibly happy and he couldn’t be more grateful.

Their quiet moment is broken by James’s phone ringing with Imperial March. His partner rolls his eyes but easily gets up with Tony still in his arms, and picks up the phone.

“Hi kid,” he says brightly, smiling tenderly. Peter. Tony smiles as well and lays his head on James’s shoulder to listen.

“James! Hi, listen, I was wondering, think I can, maybe, visit on the weekend?” Peter stumbles through his words, even though it’s been 3 years, he’s in college and they’re basically his parents. Tony is only happy that he’s calling them by their names at least.

“Pete,” James interrupts him gently, stifling giggles. “Of course you can visit on the weekend. We’ll book you a flight in a second and I’ll pick you up from the airport, how does that sound?”

Tony can almost  _ see  _ the pleased flush on the kid’s face, along with that sheepish look of happiness, like he can’t believe this is his life.

“Y-yeah, sounds good,” Peter mumbles, smile clear in his words. “B-but maybe I’ll drive? It’s just 3 hours after all…”

“Kid, stop being adorable and just wait for James at the airport,” Tony interrupts kindly, rolling his eyes. Peter is so precious. “There are so many better ways to spend 4 hours than driving to New York, right?”

“Yeah, right,” Peter says shyly, now excited again. “I gotta show you so many things, Tony, you have no idea, a-and-”

“And I suspect you’re going on 5 coffees and probably a Red Bull, right?” James asks, raising an eyebrow. He sounds like such a dad…

There’s a silence from the other side before Peter sighs and there’s a faint thump of him hitting the bed. “Yeah,” he admits, almost sulking. “I haven’t slept in 2 days, b-but listen, there’s this project a-and-”

“And it’s time to sleep,” Tony interrupts yet again, inwardly cringing at how much  _ he  _ sounds like a dad. “The project won't run away and you have to sleep, Spider Baby. You’re a growing boy.”

“I know, Tony,” Peter mumbles sleepily, probably relaxing for the first time in days.

“Alright, kid, go take a hot shower, eat something and go to sleep, okay?” James instructs, in a voice that sounds like a question but demands obedience. It even works on Morgan during her tantrums. “I don’t wanna hear from you until tomorrow at like, 1 pm.”

“‘Kay, James,” the kid agrees and the heaves a sigh, getting up. “See ya later. Love ya both!”

“Love you too, kid,” they say at the same time and then stare at the phone once Peter disconnects.

“We’re such dads,” Tony groans, leaning his head against James’s shoulder.

“You love it, doll,” James snickers, one arm around his waist, the other petting his hair.

“Maybe. Don’t call me out like that.”

He can  _ hear  _ the eyebrow that James raises at that. “Babe, please you cried when Peter gave us a gift for Father’s Day and it’s framed on the wall in the living room. You’re The Dad.”

Tony snickers and doesn’t even try to deny it. They’re the embarrassing but at the same time somehow cool dads that visit Peter sometimes at M.I.T and make all his friends jealous. They’re exactly what Tony has always been afraid of becoming, and it feels  _ good. _

There are times when he can’t believe this is his life - a retirement (kind of, he still makes teach or he’d explode), two kids (and Harley but he’s almost dating Peter so that’s a whole other thing), a loving partner in a quiet home in the middle of the forest. Happiness and a full, trusting, passionate relationship. 

James Fucking Barnes.

Tony never expected to end up with the man who used to be HYDRA’s most deadly assassin, but life is funny like that. It gives you what you least expect and trusts you do make something good out of it.

And, Tony thinks, cuddling into James’s side, he did manage to make something good out of this whole mess. Now even Steve Rogers can’t ruin it for them.

Steve is a funny thing actually. After disappearing for 3 years, they both got used to him not being around and found a strange peace in that, but now that he’s back, it seems like none of their balance got distorted. James is shocked, that’s for sure, but Tony can tell he’s not really bothered by it.

“I can hear you thinking, Antoshka,” James drawls, in that strange combination of Brooklyn and Russian accent. As always, it sends shivers down Tony’s spine.

“Just...things, you know,” he mutters. “Steve. You and him. How he’ll fit into our life now.”

He feels James sigh and then his lover shifts, until Tony’s straddling his lap, facing James and his tender, soft eyes. 

“Doll,” James starts, cupping the scarred side of Tony’s face in his metal hand. “How he’ll fit into our life is Steve’s problem, not ours. Yes, he’s my friend and I love him in some way, but I don’t need him, as I’ve been proven. If he wants to be friends with us, be a part of our life, he’ll have to work for it.”

Tony raises an eyebrow and James sighs. “Yeah, I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout making him see a therapist,” he admits. “He never did it and there’s some serious shit to unload there. For both his own good and out comfort.”

God, Tony loves this man so much… He may not be the Bucky Barnes of the past, but he’s whole and smart and kind and sometimes so positively wicked it makes even Tony blush. 

And, James is also right. Steve definitely needs to see a therapist, after the war and waking up 70 years in the past, the Civil War and then Thanos… There are many things Steve should talk about, and Tony totally supports the idea.

He forgave Steve for the Civil War long ago, but that doesn't mean he forgot, or that their relationship will ever recover fully. Steve is not a bad man, Tony knows that, but he's prone to making bad decisions that have terrible consequences and maybe the therapist will be able to change that.

Tony doesn’t want to be always bitter about Steve, always stuck in the past. He saw what that did to Steve, and people around him. He’s ready to move on.

“I love you so much,” he finds himself muttering against James’s lips, smiling into the kiss that follows.

His own shaking hand tugs at James’s hair and the man groans, arms wrapping around Tony’s waist, keeping him securely pinned against James’s body. It's warm and familiar and they’re both too emotionally drained to do much more than lazily make out, but it’s so  _ good _ on its own.

They’re all lazy moves and slick tongues, tasting like chocolate, eyes closed, eyelashes fluttering against each other’s skin. It’s familiar but at the same time thrilling, like each kiss is their first and each touch unknown. 

“I love you too, doll,” James mutters into the kiss happily. “We have a good life, Steve’s not gonna ruin anything, intentionally or not. Even if he wanted to, Sam won’t let him.”

Tony laughs at that, knowing that Sam Wilson was sometimes the only thing keeping Steve from doing something even more stupid than what he’s already done. Yes, they will be alright.

There’s nothing more said between them that evening. Tomorrow they’ll have to get Morgan dressed and then drive her to New York so that she can spend a few days with Pepper. Maybe they’ll visit the Compound if Carol is there, maybe make a quick detour to Stark Industries so that Tony can check things. They’ll try that new recipe for dinner and maybe make love under the stars because after Extremis and Stephen’s help Tony’s body can take it.

There's much waiting for them tomorrow, but for now, they just curl up together under a thin blanket and watch the stars, content with the knowledge that no matter what, they’re okay.

Yes, part of the journey is the end, but Tony has never been one to be satisfied with only one journey. There are much more adventures waiting for them, and now, he’s going to live through them with James by his side, watching over their daughter.

Part of life is starting another journey, because the road is infinite, and Tony has never felt more ready for a trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this first attempt at winteriron. i may write more from steve's pov for this au, because i really enjoyed doing it, but we'll see


End file.
